Back to basics....

My many remakings are remarkable in their own way. Each, to varying degrees, includes body, mind, and spirit. Each requires being proactive, rather than reactive.

Running always provides the necessary rubric. Running enables me to: regroup; renew; rework; reorganize; remember; and reenergize.

Running is not static; it requires constant movement. So too do I. Running is my restorative.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

April 29 -- daily dose of mind murmurs

I finished listening to The Big Short after only 3 days, and I feel much more informed. My goal to learn at least 1 thing each day was so met. The book was interesting and intriguing.

For now, I will go back to my podcasts while I decide on the next audiobook that will become part of me. Also, I would like to finally finish reading Meg Whitman's The Power of Many. It's pretty light, and, therefore, rather easy reading.

On the training front, my schedule called for rest. I wanted to strength train, but descided that I needed the rest. Tonight, my aches and pains are less and I feel ready for my busy day tomorrow, which will inlcude a speed session.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

4/28 -- Daily dose of mind murmurs

The strength I have gained thus far during this remaking got me through today. I made a plan last night, but was unable to work it right from the start when my son missed his bus and I had to drive him to school.

Strength training did not happen, but my hills session did. I was exhausted, but knew that I needed the scheduled 6 miles. They weren't easy, particularly when the incline was added for the hills portion. However, I stayed strong and did my best. Success was my reward. The session certainly wasn't as good as last week's, but that's okay.

I am dealing with the details so much better than before this remaking began. I am able to give myself credit as it is due.

Tonight, I am less tired than I was earlier today. Since completing my run, I have been reenergized. Overall, work went well, as did the evening with my family. Now, it's time for more work, and that's okay.

Another positive part of today was my audiobook fun. My walk with the dog and through the grocery store inlcuded The Big Short. Listening to this Michael Lewis book, rather than reading it, was a good decision for me. I am intrigued, and learning so much. This man is motivating. I know that I would have had a hard time right now getting through the print version, but I almost am done with the audio version. I will get through 2 of Lewis' books in less than 1 week simply by listening rather than reading. How cool is that?

Monday, April 26, 2010

April 26 -- Daily dose of mind murmurs

According to schedule, I did not run today. I actually missed it, though I took the opportunity to strength train. I have not been following that portion of my schedule. My focus needs to find its way there. I read recently that strength is the key to a 1/2 marathon, core strength specifically. This portion of my training must be more of a priority.

My current Apple/iTunes/Amazon fun is with audiobooks. I have been reading, but the time for that is too little. I also have been thinking about an eReader. To try that, I got Kindle for PCs. I got Jenny Sanford's book, but have not gotten very far. It seems that I already am on the computer so much with work, and I need a break. I have been doing the podcast thing with such satisfying success and fabulous fun.

During the past few months, I listened to 2 books on CD (one that I received as a birthday gift and one that I checked out from the library) during my long commute to the office. I enjoyed them.

Presently, I am interested in Michael Lewis' books. I am hearing/reading so much about his new book, and I finally watched The Blind Side movie. I can't imagine how I would find the time right now to read one of his books. However, perhaps I could listen. As a test, I started with Liar's Poker. I enjoyed it tremendously for so many reasons that I will not now take the time to list. Suffice it to say that I just downloaded The Big Short. Can't wait for my commute tomorrow to start listening.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Weekly wanderings

I sit here full of myself, at least for today, because I fabulously finished the 10K James Joyce Ramble race. I stayed so strong, crossing the finish line after only 58:33 minutes, with a 9:26/mile pace. I am proud of that finish.

My pride is based on so much. My finish is evidence that my training is working. I am getting faster and stronger. Last year, I ran the same race with a pace of 11:15/mile, and a time of 1:09:43. Last year's weather was so much different -- hot as can be. However, I know that I was stronger today.

This race was the completion of a terrific training week, with a toal of 24.2 miles. I completed the hills and speed sessions so strongly. I trained at about a 10 minute pace.

My son was on vacation this week, and I had so much work to do. I tried to make his vacation special, but with only limited success.

Setting priorities, focusing on right now, as well as benefits and burdens balancing helped me through this challenging and busy week.

I now am exhausted. I am drained. I was defeated somewhat this week, but I will focus on my successes.

Friday, April 23, 2010

April 23 - daily dose of mind murmurs

Getting ready to run the 2010 James Joyce Ramble 10K race, about which I am so excited! Preparing includes brushing up on the author's works. Doubliners is most familiar to me. I also can't help but harken back to the following Joyce words:

I am tomorrow, or some future day, what I establish today. I am today what I established yesterday or some previous day.

How true are those words? Presently, they are quite relevant in that I am anxious to beat my 2009 Ramble time of 1:09:54, and to see where I now stand vis-a-vis my 1/2 marathon that now is just over 9 weeks away. Those words also fit nicely into my remaking.

Those words remind me that every day counts, and is critical to who I was, am, and will be. Yesterday's, today's, and tomorrow's runs matter.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

April 22 - daily dose of mind murmurs

Today we had a terrible thunderstorm, and lost power for about an hour. No power, no work, oh no.

This evening, the storm transformed to reveal a double rainbow, which was so cool. My son and I ran outside to appreciate the awesome site. He ran up and down the street cheering the rainbows. Tonight, he wrote about it in his journal.

Another donation today, putting me at $2,443.00 with 56 supporters. We are making a difference in the fight to find a Crohn's cure. Today's donation came from a dear friend with whom I shared so much. His support means mountains, which I once thought we could move.... His support also shows how important it is to reach out during a fundraising campaign. You never know who will provide support. The results are revealing in so many ways.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Weekly wanderings

This week's hills and speed training sessions were awesome! My running carried me through otherwise hectic days. So much was not as planned, and, therefore, successfully completing my training as planned provided plenty of pleasure.

Saturday's long run was shared with Jen, my Team Challenge partner. Though I typically run alone, it was fun to run the 7 miles with her.

I am over $2,300 in my fundraising, well in excess of my $2,100 goal. I have 53 supporters. Thinking that the raising money portion of this remaking would enhance it was right on. I feel like I am making a difference, and reaching beyond my little piece of this planet.

Getting what I need while giving to and for others is happening! I am practicing my benefits and burdens balancing, and it's working for me.

When I have an action item, I try to look at in in terms of my needs and wants. If the item fits with my needs or wants, I identify, and then balance, the benefits and burdens of moving forward. When the benefits outweigh the burdens, then it's a go. This exercise has been quite helpful of late. After completing it, I feel much more comfortable advancing. I move forward confidently and with no regrets.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

My Marathon, from 6.2 to 26.2 in 6 months

The Boston Marathon will be run this year on April 19th, the same day on which I ran it in 1999. Thoughts of My Marathon are consuming me again, as they often do. This consumption, however, unlike others in which I take part, is good for me. Memories of My Marathon carry me through tough times, and currently are providing the foundation for my remaking.

Writing about my experience has taken many forms, from the detailed journal I kept during my 6 months of training to the many journal entries since then. Presently, I want to record a few key items, and move on.

The day I completed the 103rd running of the Boston Marathon was among the best in my life. Crossing the finish line with a net time of 4:25:19 represented the culmination of so much hard work and the realization of so many dreams. I was a stronger and more confident version of myself.

I often refer to the book that I will write. It will be entitled: My Marathon, 6.2 miles to 26.2 miles in 6 months. That book, however, will have to wait, like so many other items on my life list. Right now, I will dream more dreams. I also will run and raise money. I want to take a few minutes, however, to recall My Marathon. The mechanics of that remaking is fueling my current remaking.

My Marathon remaking was a 6 month adventure. In 1998, I was running again and trying to figure out what was ahead for me. I had a good life, but I wanted more. Figuring out what that was, however, was difficult. In October, I ran the renowned Tuft’s 10K race in Boston. I ran it with a friend, who I drove home to the north of Boston. Coming over the bridge back to Boston, I decided that I would run the Boston Marathon. I immediately told my Mom, who replied, “I think you’re crazy, but I’ll be there cheering you on.” My Mom’s reaction was not completely unfounded, as I had not run more than 6.2 miles recently, if ever. Knowing that she would be there was based on other of my conquests, including passing the Bar.

Deciding to run Boston was one thing, but actually getting it done was another. I had to get a number, and then figure out how to run 26.2 miles. After researching the many organizations through which I could get a number, I decided on Judge Baker Children’s Center. That organization best fit with my needs. On the running front, I joined a gym, and was partnered with a trainer who helped me realize my dream. The necessary work was difficult, but so rewarding and worthwhile.

My reasons for running Boston were many and varied. Like so many decisions that I made during my life, this decision was based in part on my desire to please others. I was seeing a man who told me, “I like that you run. I like how you feel.” Well, I agreed with that statement. I also thought: I could run more; I could run the Boston Marathon; what would you think then? I never got a chance to find out. Things did not work out with that marvelous man. However, he always will have a piece of my heart. I also vowed that I would not allow my heart to be broken again by a man.

My 6 months of training were filled with many memorable moments, and super successes. Through my fundraising, I drew strength from the support that so many people provided. That support, and my determination, resulted in an uneventfully awesome Boston Marathon!

Though My Marathon was almost 11 years ago, the experience sustains me still.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Training triumph and torture

In one hour today, the triumph and torture of training were realized.

I fit me in by going to the gym for my scheduled session of hills training. I have been working this session since early February. I have done parts of the session, but I have not been able to complete it as my trainer instructed. I have been making progress, but.... Today, I wasn't certain of my ability to complete the session, particularly because my thighs have been aching. After putting one foot in front of the other for more than one hour and for a total of 6 miles, I successfully completed the session. The hills portion included staying at an even pace, but changing the incline every 2 minutes. The incline ranged from 1 to 7 with everything in between, and then again. During past attempts, I changed the pace, had not gotten to a 7 incline, or did not get to every incremental increase as instructed. Today, I did all of that and more!

The triumph of my successful session was huge! Home I went.

When I walked in the door at home, my son called from the other room, "why are you so late?" It was not late; it was 5:50 in the afternoon. I proceeded to the kitchen, and told my husband about the quick dinner I was going to prepare. With a tone and an attitude, he said, "I can't wait until 7:00 for dinner." I tried to explain myself, and he said, "you got to do what you wanted to do, so what's the problem." This also was said with a tone and an attitude. Classic attacks. These comments were torture. They tainted my triumph. Nonetheless, I prepared my dinner as planned. Part of the reason for the attitudes is that my family is trained to sit down to dinner by 6:00. My triumph did not meet their expections, and they took it out on me.

My son now is in bed, no worse from the trainng torture, as evidenced by the fact that recalling his day at bedtime did not even include my time at the gym, or the different dinner.

I am regrouping, getting ready for the many more things that I must manage to conquer tonight. For this monumental moment, however, I am digesting my acceptance that triumph and torture often come together. Without one, the other is not so intense.

Daily dose of mind murmurs

Staying power.

So much hinges on the power to stay.

StayQuit -- This has been critical since I decided that I would have my last cigarette ever on Jun 12, 2009.

StayStrong
-- This is critical during a difficult run and always during a race.

StayTrue -- This one is new for me as a defined concept during my current remaking. As long as I stay true to myself, then I can cruise confidently through challenges that inevitably invade.

I think that I will work more on just staying....

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Daily dose of mind murmurs

Today, I fit me in. This remaking is progressing perfectly. I ran at the gym on my way home from the office. My family was no worse off, and I was in such a better place because I had taken time for me. It's been a long day, but a productive one! It's not over yet, but that's okay.

I am getting stronger and faster! I feel great! I am taking time for me, and the result is more energy and less stress. I am getting more from doing more.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Daily dose of mind murmers

I had so much to do today, but I knew that I had to spend time with my Son. He started little league this past week and has wanted to practice. I bought a baseball glove this morning in anticipation of my inevitable involvement. I do still have the only glove that I ever owned. However, as I received it probably when I was in the second grade, it is quite small. I also decided that I deserved a new glove.

This afternoon, Connor asked me to play catch with him. I did. I had fun, and we both did a good job. While we were playing, he ran by me to fetch a wild ball. On his way back, without a word, he came over and gave me a huge hug. He then continued on his way. That was a monumental moment. As a Mom, for what more could I ask?

Quite regularly, I remind myself to focus on what I did, rather than on what’s left for me to do. I read recently (not recalling where) that what counts is progress, not perfection.

Remember to marvel at the moments.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Daily dose of mind murmurs

Lists work only if you look at them.

Organization systems are optimal only if you use/follow them.

Life is more fun when it is shared and you take risks.

Above all else, be true to yourself.

Friday, April 9, 2010

Weekly wanderings

This has been an emotional week -- the highs and lows have been too great. Thankfully, I have been able to reel myself in to avoid going too low. I am not sure what is going on, but I am glad to be able to recognize that an issue exists. I was so busy with work and my Son, but I was able to fit me. My running and raising money adventure is progressing perfectly. I have 51 supporters, and I have raised $2,241.00 for CCFA. I am running faster; this week's training included 2 file mile runs with a 10 minute mile pace. I need to focus on the positive, and forget the negative, which is not worth nurturing.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Monthly monitor - March

March was marvelous. I exercised 24 of the 31 days. I am so on target with my running and raising money adventure. I ran a fabulous 5K.

My training is going well. I am following my trainer’s schedule almost perfectly. A great joy was my fun and successful 5K. My time was 28:28.9, or a 9:11/mile pace. That was so much faster than I had imagined. I was hoping for a 9.5/mile pace. I was strong from start to finish.

My fundraising moved forward. It's interesting to see who ends up donating. I am glad that I reached out because I ended up getting donations from some whom I did not expect.

Dave, Connor, and I had a date -- we saw 101 Dalmatians the musical. At one point, Connor commented that they were singing a lot. He said that he "kinda" liked it. However, he was so attentive. I want to introduce my son to as much as possible. Going to the theater is something with which Connor should be familiar.

My remaking is all that I had hoped -- I am feeling so much better about myself, and I am less stressed. I am being productive, while doing much more than before. It's amazing how the same 24 hours can be used so differently. I am balancing my needs and wants, and moving forward with action items with an open mind.

March leaves me with thoughts of the following Joan Benoit Samuelson words, "Love yourself, for who and what you are; protect your dream and develop your talent to the fullest extent."

Reading has happily filled more and more hours. The list is long and diverse, including an old friend who has found his way back into my mind -- the poet Robert Frost. So many of his poems mean so much to me. Presently, I am thinking about Into My Own, and how nicely it fits into my remaking. That poem ends,

"They would not find me changed from him they knew --
Only more sure of all I thought was true."