Bittersweet changes

Over 16 years ago, I added this picture to my desk at work.  Though my desk changed within the building, the picture remained.  It was a reminder to me of starting over, and my original remaking, when I "ran away from home" after my divorce.  When I started my job, my Daddy was dying; this picture of him and me was taken in 12/95, I starter my job in 12/96, and he died in 1/97. 

Today, I removed this picture from my desk.  The office is moving to a different building, and I no longer need this picture as an immediate reminder.  My Daddy remains in my heart....  Thankfully, my remakings now are more refinements.

Throughout the day, I recalled all that transpired while at that building.  I began and ended many runs from the parking lot.  I remember meeting up with MJB, who played a major role in my CT life.  I received my last call from JEF there, and the first call from my husband.  Lest I forget sitting at my desk on the afternoon that my sister called to tell me that my Daddy died.  I smoked more than a few cigarettes "out back," where I was when the first plane hit on 9/11.  The memories were overwhelming and too many to here record....

Physically, the area today looked like it did on the day that I first took pictures to show my Daddy where I would start over.  He told me that he was confident that I would be okay after he died....  I have been, and continue to be, okay.  In fact, in many ways I am better.  I am stronger for sure, and I have taken within me the confidence that my Daddy expressed to me.  I am much more true to myself.... 

When I left the building for the last time this afternoon, I took comfort in knowing both how far I have come, and that I am generally in a great place at this point in my life.

Next week, I will arrive at a new building as a newer me....  Times change, surroundings change, but certain things remain the same....