What works?

In the end, I have to do what works for me. Way too much information exists about success, happiness, and being healthy. Bits and pieces might be helpful, but the precise mechanics must work within my ability, schedule, and comfort level.

Deciding on what works requires prioritizing -- what I need to do, what I want to do, and what I should do. For me, prioritizing also includes the opposite -- what I do NOT need to do, what I do NOT want to do, and what I should NOT do. Three things on each list are sufficient; spending too much time making the lists, rather than working them, is not productive. The lists can and should change / be modified on a regular basis. They are meant to provide a frame of reference and reminders as my remaking proceeds.

Effective action items are those that advance my needs and wants. Running is a perfect action item for obvious reasons. Another action item is cooking dinner. The benefits to my family, health, and wallet are significant. It’s also fun. Finally, I can satisfy my desires to be creative (deciding what to prepare and how to present it) and to learn (finding and following recipes).

Thoughts about me at the start and at the finish also will help. Keeping in mind that I can’t control / change the world and others is critical. Similarly critical is acknowledging that: I do control my thoughts, actions, and words; and I can change my attitude.

What I need to do:

1. Work at my job
2. Care for my son
3. Take care of myself

What I want to do:

1. Be fit
2. Enjoy my family
3. Make a difference

What I should do:

1. Reach out to others
2. Appreciate what I have
3. Give myself credit

What I do NOT need to do:

1. Be the perfect Mom
2. Weigh 115 pounds again
3. Have an exquisitely decorated 3000 square foot house

What I do NOT want to do:

1. Yell too much
2. Waste time
3. Worry about what is expected

What I should NOT do:

1. Obsess over money
2. Have too many projects going at once
3. Smoke

Thoughts of the Start and Finish:

Start -- I am an educated working woman in her mid-forties. I am a mom and wife. I am the eighth child in a traditionally Irish Catholic family from Boston. I am an attorney. I have a job. I am over 7 years into my second marriage. I own my home with a mortgage that is not more than my house is worth. I have some retirement savings. I am healthy, and weigh about 138 pounds. I guess I am part of the average middle class. I have issues. I can be a loud-mouthed control freak who wants everyone’s approval. I am a dreamer and a perfectionist. I want it all, but have yet to define the word all in the context of me.

Finish -- I know that I can finish particular tasks, including a race when I cross the finish line. Finishing does not, however, translate to my life – I never will be finished making me. That’s an exciting, and sometimes daunting thought. Characterizing this time as a remaking feels reasonably realistic. For now, I guess I will artificially and crudely define the finish as when I weigh about 123 pounds. Though extremely superficial, I know that I can reach this finish only by taking so many positive steps that will not be superficial.

Sometimes I feel guilty about wanting more because I already have so much. However, it’s really not wanting more, but instead doing more with what I have and striving to be the best that I can be.