Today was lived in the sandwich generation. I began as the proverbial meat in the family sandwich -- my Son woke up way too early, and, therefore, joined my husband and me for a bit of a Sunday sojourn.
I then nutured my nuclear family with a hot breakfast and a weekly scheduling discussion. The Stonewall Kitchen cinnamon apple syrup was the luxury that I chose for this portion of the day.
Mom mode kicked in when I processed my Son through a special First Communion preparation mass at church, followed by CCD, and then his reward drive-through McDonald's lunch. The chosen luxury for this part of the day was time at Seven Stars Bakery with coffee and the New York Times while my Son was at CCD. I should have been grocery shopping, house cleaning, collection organizing, or working. However, I knew that I needed a chosen luxury.
After taking a bit of time with eBay, daughter mode kicked in when I took my weekly wandering to visit with my Mom. During that portion of the day there were no luxuries, only making sure that I kept my emotions under control while I processed my Mom through her afternoon. I had to take care of her, and couldn't draw from her experiences as I had done in the past. Though she is very independent overall, many details are beyond her ability (though some, like keeping track of papers, she really never mastered). I am totally appreciative of the fact that she lives alone with what in the grand scheme of things is minimal help. However, being her daughter can be challenging. After managing numerous items for my Mom, I left her eating the simple dinner that I fixed for her. Part of me wanted to sit and enjoy that meal and her company, but I had to go home to fix a simple dinner for my Son.
The next chosen luxury was a leisurely walk with my dog while listening to a few of my favorite podcasts on my iPod Nano. Even writing this post is a chosen luxury, which is helping me process the success of my day. I am content to be able to write while sitting in my living room with my husband, Son, and dog. The final chosen luxury of the day is taking time to watch Downton Abbey with complete concentration, which is a big deal given that the majority of my life is lived in multi-tasking mode.
Unfortunately, my run did not happen today, mostly as a result of knowing my limitations. Other things had to happen today, but tomorrow will be more under my control, with working and running at the top of my daily dos.
Mind murmur: At times, I don't want to be so competent; I wish someone to take care of me. I know, however, that such a wish is just that. Instead, I have to take care of myself -- and now more than ever. I need my wits about me to properly nurture my Son and my Mom, whom I call my bookends.
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