Mind murmur - paper books: adventure by osmosis

For me, paper books always will lure me in.

I love my Kindle, which has expanded the scope and volume of my reading.  It also satisfies my instant gratification obsession.  I can't always have what I want when I want it, but the limitations are la bit lessened with my Kindle at my side.    

Surrounding myself with paper / bound books continues to provide a high that I am only beginning to understand and appreciate. While I am trying to rid myself of stuff, my books stay and multiply. It's not even the books in my house; my entertainment regularly includes bookstores and libraries.

Even when I don't venture far from home, or even outside it, books satisfy my wanderlust. I can travel through time and to places near and far simply by turning the pages. Also, though my formal education currently is secondary to my Son's, flipping through a book can provide needed knowledge.  My emotional well-being is elevated by my surrounding books. The ones I bought at various stages and rages remind me where I've been and how far I've come.  And lest I forget my cook book collection, which enriches me on many levels. 

Much will come and go, but my books will remain. They decorate my house and my heart; they are a comforting constant.

awesomeness exists....

Sometimes you need to tweak the definition of awesome to realize that it exists.  Today was an ordinary Saturday with way too much to do.  However, as the day progressed, its awesomeness was revealed.  Little pleasures were sprinkled throughout the day and night, but details surrounding my long run enveloped the day's awesomeness.

The morning was devoted to the needs of my Son and Dog, and to properly fooding and fueling for this afternoon's long run.  My husband was scheduled to be gone all day, so I planned for my Son to spend a few hours with a college-aged friend.  She would make some money, by Son would have attention from someone other than me, and I would enjoy my long run. 

I dropped off my Son,  and searched for a parking place in Providence.  Thankfully, my change purse was at hand (I love it when I am organized and prepared) so feeding the meter was not a problem.  I parked in the first available spot, and set off for my 6 mile long run, which ended up being, almost literally, around the City.  My Garmin Forerunner enabled me to track my time, distance, and pace with ease.  My iPhone, with the newly added Mumford & Sons album, provided entertainment and motivation.  I simply ran, with the scenery dictating the next turn. 

While I was aware of, but not controlled by, my pace, I ended up 12 seconds off the scheduled SmartCoach program pace!  I have no idea how that happened, but it was awesome.  I know that my pace was okay for portions of my run, but I also know that I ended up on some of the City's rather steep hills that I attacked so slowly.  I thought for sure that they would totally throw me off my overall pace.  That thought, however, did not deter me because I have been reading about the value of hill training.  That value would outweigh any negative impact on my overall time, so I convinced myself.  As it ended up, that convincing was not necessary because the overall time was spot on!

Though I was alone, seeing the City's weekend activities made me feel part of them.  I discovered sights and sounds of the City of which I previously was unaware.  Most significantly, I ran well and absorbed every step along the way -- the fast ones, the slow ones, and each one in between. 

I had not planned my route, but after the scheduled 6 miles I ended up a perfect distance from my car, permitting an ideal cool down walk.  I then stopped for a quick Chai Tea Latte at Teas and Javas, where I checked my email and texted my Son and his sitter.  After a few more minutes to myself, I met them, knowing that there was still so much to the day's chores, but also feeling so unbelievably strong, renewed, and empowered from my long run on an unplanned route. 

You never know unless you try....

Meeting today's tempo run goal appeared to be an impossibility:  2x1600 @ 9:09.  Well....  I ran one 1600 at a 9:06 pace, and the other at a 9:27 pace.  That's close enough for me, particularly with over 1 more month until my 1/2 marathon.  This success was as much mental as physical, as I had to convince myself that I could do it.

I am thankful that I overcame my fear, and I am glad that I did because I was able to experience the positive effects of my training thus far.  I know that I am getting stronger....

Remembering why I run

Today began the 6th week of my SmartCoach training program through Runner's World.  I was a bit nervous about the scheduled 5 mile run.  I did something to my back yesterday while watching my Son's soccer game, and I am experiencing some discomfort.  Also, I have lots to do on so many fronts.  However, my program called for a 5 mile run, and, therefore, a 5 mile run it would be.  I rationalized that I did not have to run at the designated pace; I just had to finish the distance. 

Well, I didn't run at the designated pace -- I ran faster without even trying!!!  I just got out there and did my best, which ended up being better than I thought I had in me.  Now I am totally re-energized for the too full schedule I have for the remainder of the day.

Runs like today's are why I run.  I need to remember this feeling and accomplishment!  Even if I can't impress anyone else, I can impress myself, which really is all that matters in the end.... 

daily ponder - impact

Thoughts, feelings, words, and actions have an impact, whether it be positive or negative.  Eliminating stuff with negative impact is critical, nearly as much as elevating stuff with positive impact.  If it, whatever it is, doesn't have an impact, then it currently is of little use to me. 

I will focus on what has a positive impact because I derive great pleasure from same.  I know that my investment of time in my Son's life has positive impact that reaches beyond him and me.  For now, that is enough.... 

Mind murmur - perspective

I'm not scattered. I'm spread out like a blanket, which takes up space. However, it's not scattered; it's spread out to provide comfort, or it's bunched up and welcoming.

Discovering Tempo runs

I am so fabulously surprised by the success of my tempo run.  I am well into my Runner's World SmartCoach training program, which has been perfect preparation for my next half marathon!

Today's scheduled session was 4 miles, with a 1 mile warm up and cool down and 2 miles at a 9:42 pace.  Based on my runs thus far, I didn't know how I would meet this goal.  So that I wouldn't be too concerned about my pace, as has been the case previously on the track, I decided to run at the gym. 

The first mile was slow, probably about 11:30.  I then decided to run:  1/2 mile at a 10 minute pace; 1/2 mile at a 9:31 pace; 1/2 mile at a 10 minute pace; 1/4 mile at a 9:13 pace; and 1/4 mile at a 9:05 pace.  I did it!  Then the last mile was slow, with walking at the end. 

Overall, this session was a complete success, and I did it in a way with which I was comfortable.  By my calculations, which may or may not be correct, the pace for my middle two miles was 9:45 and 9:35.  I can't believe I had it in me!  I'm glad I found it!  With 7 and 1/2 weeks remaining before my half marathon, I am in a great place!

I am grateful for my choices.  This half marathon is going to mark a milestone, just as my marathon did.  I ran Boston to celebrate my 35th birthday.  I will run this half marathon to celebrate my 10th wedding anniversary, which will be the day before my run.  This choice may not be mainstream for a 10th wedding anniversary celebration, but it makes total sense to me for so many reasons.

Pondering the power of books

I always have loved books!  Growing up, I cherished them, though I never was a fast reader.  I remember trips to the library; we didn't frequent bookstores.  Books have been a part of my life, but I am only recently realizing and accepting their power over me.

Now, at the heart of this love affair are books, I think because they are a tangible product and satisfy my need for stuff.  Really, though, my affair is with reading, words, pictures, learning, and discovering.  Partially, this is because I currently love my Kindle and newspaper/magazine subscriptions equally.

My recent read is Paris: A Love Story by Kati Marton.  I was introduced to this book and author by a Vogue  article.  I was intrigued.  Then, on a day trip to Martha's Vineyard, I purchased the newly released book during our ritualistic bookstore browsing at Bunch of Grapes.

Though so much of this book will stay with me, I couldn't resist recording the following:

aimlessly ambling
live at my own pace
The past should not imprison you.
get the most from myself
try to live my own life
Cafes are the finest places for people alone not to feel lonely.
foundation
focus on the task at hand
no carelessness
no sloppiness
satisfaction he derived from doing what he loved
liberating to care less about the impression I am making

Also, I was drawn to:  what I took as differing love; her running; and comparing her travels to my European travels.  Though the author is so different from me in many ways, I can make general comparisons, e.g., changes in professional focus, having two marriages, and readjusting.

I am grateful for having found this book!

Mind murmur - a woman torn

I am torn between and among so much, and I am being torn apart by emotions. 

All is well, but all is difficult and trying.

Today was another sandwich Sunday, which, as often is the case, was packed with tending to my eight year-old Son and ninety-two year-old Mom.   

I am grateful for my weekly visits with my Mom, but each time my heart breaks  a bit.  She's the same, but she's different.  She's well, but she's sick.  She remembers, then she doesn't.  Sometimes, it's hard to see her, and it's always hard to leave her. 

Each week brings something different that needs to be addressed.  It's increasingly impossible to imagine what my visit will be like. 

Today, we went out for the littlest but of time to do an errand.  My Mom said, "It's nice to get out."  I wanted to cry, but of course I didn't.  It's not done.

Upon arriving home, my Son started right in.  He wanted to fit a full day's activities into the few hours left before his bedtime.  We had a challenging week, so I wanted to simply settle down and get ready for what promises to be another busy week, as each typically is.  Really I just wanted to be alone, but that was not going to happen.  Thankfully, my Son settled down so that we could enjoy some reading and piano time together. 

Presently, I am reminded that my Son is like me.  I have a day's worth of things that I want to fit into the few remaining hours.  I am not sure yet what will get done, but I am glad simply to be seated with my feet up for the first time since this day began fifteen hours ago.

Well, another sandwich Sunday is done.  For these days, done is success.

In keeping with my attempt to end each day on a positive note, I will relish successful completion of another Smart Coach training week.  I am four weeks into my twelve week training program.  My decision to run what will be my fifth half marathon is revealing itself to be one of my better recent decisions.

Until....