Over time....

things change.  This year's tree has been quite a work in progress.  We bought it three days ago.  We put it in the stand yesterday.  Tonight, we added lights and four ornaments.  It will be done soon, but in the meantime....

When I was younger, the tree had to be perfect.  One year, I went to at least three places, and spent hours in pursuit of the ideal tree.  This year, it was one location, and five minutes - done.  Dave put the tree in the stand and it's not straight.  Rather than start over, I rotated the tree so it's leaning forward, rather than sideways.  It was always white or colored lights.  This year, Connor wanted both mixed together - done.  He also wanted to help add the lights, which I let him do.

Each of us hung one ornament.  The last ornament is in honor of Hunter, our puppy dog, who died 18 days ago.  He's now an angel watching over us as we bungle through the days.

Presently, it's time to unwind after another hectic week.  The one coming up is the last full one before Christmas.  There's lots to do.  Somehow it will get done.  The most important thing is that I STAY -- strong, rested, calm, grateful, and productive.  I can and will do it.  Oh yeah, I also have to figure out how to enjoy the moments, maintaining a balance between the forest and the tree.

Happy birthday to my Subaru Outback

One year ago today, I took delivery of my Subaru.  It has been a great year.  I have driven 18,387 miles, and have had driving advenures in all of the New England states.

My decision to purchase my car was a quick one, but I have never looked back.  The pleasures have been many and the regrets nonexistent.

  

The mundane matters

We have so much to do so much of the time.  My Son decided he wanted to make frosting from scratch.  That decision was made days ago, but we kept getting busy with life; life so often gets in the way.  Yesterday, we simply made time.  He found a recipe on line.  He figured out what ingredients we had, and which we needed.  He added the needed ones to the grocery list.

Finally, it was late in the evening, but....  He measured everything.  I began with the mixer.  He didn't like that I was on low speed when the recipe called for medium speed.  He wanted no part of my explanation, so he took over.  Too quickly, he increased the speed, and created a bit of a mess.  He didn't like that, and ran from the room (in avoidance).  When I called him back, he said that I had told him to remove himself from a situation when he needed to take control of his feelings.  Oops, he was right and I was wrong.

He returned, cleaned his mess, and completed his project.  He was so proud of his accomplishment.  Among the many things he said was, "I love the Internet."  It quickly provided the recipe he desired.  He proceeded to enjoy his creation!

He and I learned so much from this experience....  Times like this are what matters, rather than the fact that he got to bed a bit too late and didn't follow the bedtime procedures. 

The experience and the result were not perfect, but they were.  Ordinarily, I wait to the perfect of everything, and so much gets left undone. 

Perfect doesn't have to exist to make perfect memories.      

balance the trees and forest....

I've been thinking lots about the forest for the trees expression for so many reasons.

I recall that the bigger picture is the forest, and that you shouldn't get caught up in the details -- the trees.

The expression is, One should not lose sight of the forest for the trees.

In other words, if someone can't see the forest for the trees, they get so caught up in small details that that they fail to understand the bigger picture.

I often find myself having to - step back and take a breath.

Yet another way of expressing this is, paying too much attention to the details and not understanding the general situation.

I tend to be a trees person, rather than a forest one.  That approach, however, causes endless problems. 

I like the meaning of this expression, and also that it concerns trees, with which I am so intrigued.

For survival, and because I am way too busy, I need to remind myself repeatedly that the trees are important, but so is the forest.  Seeing the forest helps with overload avoidance. 

I could spend significant time on a particular detail, but then so much of the day is lost, as is the overall survival goal.

Once again, I circle back to balance.  It is critical.

Preparing for 50....

Planning, dreaming, and remaking are so much of what I do.  I try to do that while living each moment at the same time.  I want a balance between trees and forest - in every aspect of my being.

Presently, I think about what happens -- life, stuff, change, and drama.  I make mistakes, and I learn from them.

My 50th birthday is just over 3 months away.  It's an excuse to celebrate, and I will.  I am looking forward to this milestone.  It will be a decade filled with my five focus factors - fun, fitness, family, finance, and food.

Every decade is different.  My 20s were filled with education and early years of marriage.  My 30s were filled with change - the end of my starter marriage and the beginning of my lifetime marriage, as well as unlimited personal and professional developments.  My 40s have been filled with adapting to motherhood and a more uneventful existence.  The drama is different, less tumultuous overall.

My thoughts as to how I will celebrate are still in the development phase.  The newest "bee in my bonnet" is that my 50th birthday will begin an adventure that will last throughout my 50s.  When my 50s are complete, I would like to be able to say that I have seen all 50 states with my Son.  This goal has plenty of potential.  Already, my Son has calculated that he's been to 10 of he 50 states, or 20% of them, including all of the New England states.  He is a bit upset that he doesn't remember having vacationed in South Carolina.

This goal is consistent with our family's desire to learn and travel.  We love to discover new airports and hotels.  I often have difficulty deciding where to go.  That indecisiveness could be diminished if we randomly select a new state to visit.  The possibilities of pleasures are endless.

With luck, this adventure will form a foundation for my 50s.  I can make it happen....          

mind murmur

Even a few minutes can work wonders....  My thoughs are running wild -- if only I were. As a run is not to be had, perhaps at all today, I will take instead a few minutes of quiet time at Starbucks.  Soon, it will be off again to my list of action items.  

pondering ... job, career, work, employment

Presently, I am quite interested in these words and what they mean.  I am intrigued by their many contexts and connotations.

I always have worked, it's just a matter of where and doing what.  I have been employed most of my life.   

Since I was 14, I had a job, which I thought of as a place to go to work in exchange for pay.  Some jobs were better than others, but each served a positive purpose.  I worked hard because I was raised to have a good work ethic.  I often viewed my jobs as a means to an end, and part of a bigger picture in which I had a career. 

That career came because I was driven.  That career went because I didn't drive it very well.

For about 6 months, I didnt' have a job or a career, but I still worked.  That work perhaps was harder than anything I had done before.  I worked to take care of my Dad during what ended up being the last days of his life.  I also worked to figure out what I next would do with my life.  I worked to figure out whether I would continue with my career, put it on hold, or do something entirely different.

I then took a job with a company.  I've been there almost seventeen years; everything's the same, but different.  The job has changed, the company has changed, the location has changed, but it's still the same.  I hadn't thought of this as my career, but perhaps I should.

How does the word employment fit in?  I am employed.  I have a job that I can call a career. 

Okay, now I am getting overwhelmed....  Add the work work to the equation, and....

I am a Mom, and, therefore, I work.  I am a daughter, wife, and family member, and, therefore, I work.  I am a woman who wants to be financially secure, and, therefore, I work.  I am a person who wants to be fit and have fun, and, therefore, I work. 

The reality is that I am working most of the time, though the details of what I am working on vary tremendously.  That's okay, and that's my choice.           

  

  

Mind murmur - make each day ideal

Fitting with this week's mood is the following bit that I read today, "What we learn from the day, as well as the attitude we have about it, is our daily lesson."  Good thing I like to learn something new every day....

Today was also made complete by the following words of Horatio W. Dresser, "The ideal day never comes.  Today is ideal for him who makes it so."

I call this day ideal for many reasons, including:  productive at work; selected some fun new eyeglasses; read; cooked a fine dinner; went to the gym; began listening to a very interesting book thanks to Audible; and continued to assemble vintage items that willcomprise a wedding gift.  That's enough for today.

Different yet again....

Today had its own issues, but overall was successful.  Mostly, today was devoted to work.  However, I did make time for me.

The Yoga Studio app for my iPad is awesome.  I fit in a 15 minute class; what fun.  I also made time for a 3 mile run.

I will take today' success.  I will focus on it, and let the rest go.  There's time tomorrow for action items.  Tonight, they're done.  It's time to unwind and then to recharge with a good night's sleep.

What a difference a day makes

Today couldn't have been more different from the few prior days.  Almost 6 hours driving, and lots of time in the office.

Not much time with the lower bookend, but what we had was quality time.  No time with the upper bookend, but I did have to make a few calls and process some paperwork on her behalf.

It was busy and exhausting, though on a different level.  Perhaps I will have to start accepting that each day will vary tremendously.

Sandwich Sunday success

Today was successful; I am exhausted.  The #bookends did well, better than I did at times.  I lost my temper a bit, but I self-corrected.

Personally, the day was lost.  I think I am at peace with that, knowing that I can make up for it....  How and when is not yet clear, but, as the saying goes, where there's a will there's a way.  I have the will, so I will find the way.

 I need to make more of the day mine.  Tomorrow's another day....

A day devoted to my bookends

Today began and ended with my bookends.  It was wonderful, rewarding, and exhausting.  Fortunately, I stole a few moments for me.  It would have been better with a run, but that wasn't to be stolen.  My few dog walks were all....

The day began with a few minutes of quiet time to read in bed.  Then it was one bookend's soccer practice, during which I doodled....  At home, I did some work and organizing.  We enjoyed a quick lunch at the table, and then it was off to the other bookend.

I had a working interview with a woman who might be able to help with my Mom.  I think it went well, but I am on overload.  I will need more time to process it, but who has time when my Son needs more attention.

My lower bookend was so helpful, I made time to stop at The Paper Store, where he was able to join the free bracelet making activity and then purchase his coveted Rainbow Loom.  It kept him occupied during the remainder of time with the upper bookend.  As a treat for me, I popped into the Whole Foods next door and got a Pumpkin Late.  It was good, but not as good as the PSL at Starbucks.

A few minutes were spent collecting items that will comprise a wedding present that my upper bookend will present at a family wedding.  I ordered a frame that I hope will work for the wedding picture of the groom's great grandmother.  Then, with the help of my iMac, I dictated letters dated November 1, 1939 that the bride in the picture wrote to her mother and sister.  The date is not quite, but close to, the wedding to which I soon will accompany my Mom.

I am grateful that I was able to devote today to my bookends, but....  Only a bit of work was done, not nearly enough, and action items are left unaddressed.  Tomorrow's another day.  Alas, it's more of the same because it's sandwich Sunday.  If only I can take or make time for me, even a bit, then it will be okay....  It's all important.  The important items get reordered, moving up and down on the time continuum.  I will remember that and find peace in it.  Today is almost done.  I will take pleasure in it with a cup of green tea, which certainly will serve me better than the preferred Saturday night beer.

I will make this a happy ending....  Each day can and should be a happy one...

 

Mind murmur

So looking forward to October, my favorite month.  September has been a productive month, but I am okay that it is done.

I am wondering why October is so special to me.  Thoughts are developing.  It's a long month without many interruptions; September has back to school and summer's end transitions.  November begins the holiday season and potential winter weather issues.  During October, I love settling in and appreciating the many pleasures of fall (my favorite season, when things change yet stay the same), indoors and outdoors. 

Time will tell what treats and treasures will be revealed during October.  I am looking forward to the ride....

Mind murmur

Time has been passing and I have been along for the ride.  I am trying to decide what my blog will be at present.  In the meantime, I am somewhat active with Instagram and Twitter.  Facebook is there for other reasons.  Also, I am spending time discovering new apps, particularly with iOS7.

At times, I feel like I simply need to live life, and not take the time to record it.  Now is one of those times overall.  This approach is, in fact, another form of remaking, which, after all, is what it's all about.

Thankfully, 1 hour at the gym happened today.  Some days, that is enough.

Mind murmur

So busy, tired, frustrated, and emotional.  I need to turn it around.  How goes the saying, what can you control, and what can't you control?  That's a great place to start....

I think it's time to focus more on one of my too many book ideas.  This one is, DIM Memories, Letters that Shaped a Family. 

I have so many letters my Dad wrote to my Mom, his then fiancé, spanning 1942  - 1945.  The bulk of the letters were written when my Dad was deployed overseers for 2 years during World War II. 

Whenever I spend even a bit of time with these letters , I come away touched and feeling a bit more connected to the man who was my Dad and the legacy he left....  Each session also leaves me more knowledgeable about an assortment of topics, not the least of which is United States history.

There's so much I can't do, but there's so much I can do.  I will focus on the latter.

Sandwich Sunday

It was a tough day, but I will focus on the pleasures.... It was hot, so Mommy used her wheelchair when we went out.  My Son wanted to help....

We ate out and visited at my brother's house.  It was satisfying family time.

Thankfully, I took time for my run this morning!  The physical, emotional, and mental benefits enabled me to handle the day's challenges rather well.

Back to basics - family matters

When all else fails, go back to basics.  They will carry you through more than you thought possible.

For me, basics include my family.  As the youngest of 8 children, all of whom have partners, family can be quite consuming, overhwelming, and demanding.  At times, being so busy with my own stuff, I focus less on my family.  This past weekend, I had a forced refocusing, which significantly and ultimately was for the best.

The family affair was a joyous one, thankfully, my nephew's wedding.  My Mom, her eight children, and the grown grandchildren were among the gusts.  The event was out of town, so an overnight hotel stay was required. 

The weekend was busy, but relaxing.  We talked, but we didn't.  We reconnected, but we didn't.  Mostly, we were together.  I took great comfort in that togetherness.

So much in life changes, but the underlying structure and strong foundation that a family provides can be a constant.  That's not to say that the family doesn't change, with marriages, divorces, births, deaths, break-ups, and what have you.....  In addition to physical changes, family dynamics can change depending upon where members are in their lives, as well as the nature of presented demands.  However, the bond is there.  I can be a helpful and positive one; I will let it be just that.   

Always learning....

As long as I am learning, I am living.... 

This week, I am continuing my education in "balance 101, the art of working hard and playing hard."  I am so busy with work and family, trying to balance the two.  I can't say work and home, because so much of my work is done at home. 

Perhaps, instead, it should be professional and personal.  This characterization is much more accurate.

Working is my professional life, and playing is my personal life.  That's not to say that I don't sometimes consider work as play, or play as work.  I work very hard in my personal life, but....  You have to draw the line somewhere.

To me, working hard and playing hard means focusing on what is happening at the moment; devotion to what is at hand.  If I can focus, then I can derive satisfaction and success.  This approach is akin to realizing that you can't do it all at once.  I need to parcel out time and activities.

Professional and personal time can be relished when time on each is done well.  By way of example, I have been working hard this week, completing many projects.  I also payed hard when I exercised and read with my Son.  As a result of having worked hard and played hard, I feel much more relaxed and ready for the weekend.

Putting it in perspective

Perspective is important, critical in fact.  I can plan a lifetime, but I can only live a day.  

I can't forget about the overall picture, but I can't let it overwhelm me.  There's a balance between living in the moment, and living for it.

I took time to be at the gym right now.  I am living in the moment, but but for a lifetime of moments yet to be.

On the edge....

Living like nature...on the edge.

Striving...in vain

I am striving, though I am not sure for what.  I am sure, however, that my striving is in vain.  I am doing so much and so little at the same time.  I move forward, only to fall backward....

My life is really good, and not so good at the same time.  Does that place me among so many other similarly situated women?  Perhaps, but I don't want to be there.  I am part of a bigger group, but nonetheless alone.

These thoughts are expressed out of frustration, and nothing more.  As often is done, I will dismount from my self-pity perch and prop myself up on my blessings bench.  I belong firmly on the latter, rather than balancing on the former.

Well, there is one thing for which I can successfully strive....  I will run today. 

Gone but not forgotten

Three years ago today, I smoked my last cigarette.  While cigarettes are gone from my life, they are not forgotten.  I envy those people who quit and then can't stand the smell of smoke.  I still love that smell.  I breath it in on those very few occasions I am exposed to it. 

I didn't smoke all the time, or continuously, but for quite some time cigarettes were in my arsenal.  Now they're not.  I am proud and grateful that I haven't enjoyed even a puff since three years ago today, but....

Cravings exist all too frequently.  At times, I view cigarette smoking as an indulgence.  However, I know that it's not one in which I can partake.  One puff would lead to one cigarette, to one pack, and then....

I am stronger than the unhealthy habit of cigarette smoking, but sometimes I get so tired of being so strong.  Why do I often feel like mourning, rather than rejoicing?

Well, today I will run....

Moderation Matters

This week's lessons are in moderation.  I don't have to do it all at once; tackling a piece of a project provides plenty of pleasure.

This moderation thing plays into time management issues nicely.  

I don't have time to do all of the yard work, but I can complete a small discrete section.  The pictured result utilized rocks that I had elsewhere on the property.  I bought a bag of mulch, of which I used just a bit.  I got exercise by lifting, bending, and hauling.  I got fresh air.  I now have plenty of satisfaction.

The same can be said for my living room.  I don't have to redecorate and clean the whole thing all at once.  A little time spent wth my hope chest results in a lot of satisfaction.  I finally put away my woolens, leaving the top of my hope chest to collect dust.  With a clean slate, I then took books and seashore-inspired items from elsewhere in my house, and made a peaceful place.  The rest of my living room is being taken over by dog hair and dust, but this portion is perfect, for a few minutes anyway.

The feeling of accomplishing a small project surely is better than the paralysis of realizing that time and money constraints won't permit completion of the entire intended project.

Right now, I will focus on what I accomplished with moderation, rather than on what my over-achieving self insanely added to my action register. 

I embrace moderation as a survival tactic.  In the past, I have run from moderation.  After all, how could I embrace the word moderate when Marriam-Webster associates it with mediocre, and defines in part as, "having average or less than average quality?"  Oh, please....  My almost 50-year-old practical self will embrace the other aspects of the definition, including, "avoiding extremes of behavior or expression : observing reasonable limits."

Having had a few minutes of contemplation, I now am ready to tackle what promises to be a way too busy day with my very active 9 year-old Son, who makes all of the craziness worth it.  He constantly amazes and challenges me.   

Taking control

Remembering to think about what I can control and what I cant't control is key to my current success.      There's so much I can't control, and I need to let that go.  Instead, I need to focus and act on what I can control.  To that end, I had limited control over my schedule today, which was devoted primarily to the little league opening day.  Mid afternoon, however, I took control and went for a 3 mile run outside.  As a result, tonight is better....  I am more at peace.  Even better is that I had a successful run....  I ran rather fast, for me anyway, and felt great.

 I have been fighting aches and pains.  I think I need to run them out of my body, literally.  I am feeling better physically, mentally, and emotionally.  Contributing to those feelings is the grateful fact  that I actually slept 6 hours straight the past 2 nights.  That hasn't happened for as long as I can remember....

We'll see what comes my way, but I am better prepared thanks to Thursday's and today's runs outside.      Lest I forget how my runs benefited from my Nike+ running app and the music on my iPhone!

Let nature nurture

Times have been tough for me, and so much tougher for so many others. Tonight, as I sit under a tree outside during my son's soccer practice, I will let nature nurture me. The rock wall intrigues me....

Though I have been walking and going to the gym, it has been weeks since I ran outside. Today, I decided it was too long. I laced up and ran a slow 3 miles. My to do list remains a daunting mess, but tonight I am more at peace because I am letting nature nurture me.

Sandwich Sunday - mixed emotions

I am so grateful to have my sandwich Sundays, and I wouldn't trade them for anything.  However, these days take a lot out of me; my emotions run wild. 

Sometimes, I leave my Mom eating her dinner by herself so that I can get home to eat dinner with my Son.  My heart breaks just a little bit every time I leave her.  I want to stay, but I have to leave.  At least I get to see her, and to spend time with her.  Now that she's about 6 weeks away from her 93rd birthday, each time I leave, a part of me wonders what the next chapter in her life will be....

My Son likes to stay up late Friday and Saturday nights, so getting him to settle down on Sunday nights is challenging.  I often feel that I don't spend enough time with him on Sunday, which causes my heart to break just a little bit.

As I left my Mom's house and my Son's room at the end of my time with them today, each told me that they love me.  The tears of sadness turn to tears of happiness, and my heart heals a little bit more....

mind murmur - marathon weekend and more....

It's Boston marathon race weekend. Though it was 14 years ago that I ran Boston, I still carry that accomplishment with me. I have written about my marathon before, and I am sure that there's still more to write. For now, I am happy to have the memories close at hand.

The 6 months from 6.2 to 26.2 miles remain as a reminder of what is possible. Every once and a while I think about doing another marathon. Right now, though, the timing is not right.

My focus is elsewhere, and my running is not as predominant as I know it would need to be for another successful marathon.  I’m glad that I fit in a half marathon in 2012; that will satisfy my race wanderlust for now.  Currently, my focus for 2013 is to position myself as best as possible for turning 50 in early 2014.  That age would put me in a new race age group, and, oh, what possibilities might await….

Currently, I am thinking about judging and being judged.  It’s a takeaway for me, one of many in fact, having read Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In.  Also, recent events in my life have brought this issue to the forefront. 

We live by, and sometimes in spite of, decisions we make.  Support for those decisions is critical.  If today’s decision turns out not to be right or good for whatever reason, we can make another decision tomorrow.  It’s okay.  We should be able to do that with confidence.  
     

Mind murmur

The trick is to find the treasure.... 

 

 

 

In part, the the Merriam-Webster definition is, wealth of any kind or in any form.

Pump up the pleasure

Doing things that need to be done move forward faster when you pump up the pleasure. For example, sitting through my Son's baseball practice is better when I read on my Kindle, catch up with the news on my iPad, and get organized with Evernote.

So much of what I do is digital, but I still love my paper products. Pads of paper abound, and Moleskine matters. Lest I forget the Sharpie products that make everything more fun.

Where does the stuff get done? More space would be wonderful, but sometimes working with less is more.... Working with what is works well.

Presently, I am posturing to produce a few projects.  I am setting up and dedicating spaces I have to accommodate and accomplish.  The tedium of the details turns to total satisfaction when the pleasure of the project is pumped up!

Challenging time and choices

It's a challenge to manage time and choices.  Choices can be challenging.  Today was filled with time management choices.

It was a long day, and I am exhausted.  There's still more to do, but I am comforted in knowing that I did what was best for me today.  I worked well. I accomplished action items.  We had family dinner.  I stayed calm when my Son's emotions didn't.  I made decisions.  I worked out at the gym.  I enjoyed the outside during my dog walk. I called my Mom.

There's probably tons of things that I didn't do, but I choose not to think about or focus on them.

Putting it into perspective

At times, I find myself comparing what I am doing to what others are doing, e.g., wondering what more I could be doing to better myself, my family, and my community (for the sake of my sanity, I stay away from thinking beyond).

Thankfully, I am able to put things into perspective to understand that we all need to do what works at any given time, knowing that reevaluation is worthwhile.

Processing yesterday's sandwich Sunday permits perspective.

I am growing a boy, caring for an elderly mom, nurturing a marriage and home, being part of an extended family, staying reasonably fit and healthy, and working a full-time rewarding, challenging, and busy job.  Every day includes tending to each of these aspects in some way.  Though my actions are limited, their implications are boundless.

For now, theses are enough.  In fact, sometimes they are way more than enough, but....  Presently, I don't need to do more, and I will take comfort in feeling that what I am doing right now is enough for me.

With that in mind, I am ready to face what promises to be a busy week.  Bring it....

Satisfying Saturday

Family game night with Yahtzee while watching the Final Four. Lots was done today, and lots was left undone. I am glad to have gotten some grocery shopping done that should make the upcoming week easier.

Thankfully, I rewarded myself with a run outside. It had been too long since I had done that. Once again, I was reminded how important running outside is to my overall well being.

Words of wonder today:  time and choices.  I am amazed how much these words matter.

So far, April has been revealing itself to be better than March, which was devoted to unexpected developments.  The month began with stitches for my Son and a fall for my Mom.  Fortunately, both were manageable.   They did, however, change the month's details.  March ended with Easter, which was an overall success, though rather hectic. 

I have been way too busy with I am not sure what....  I am spending some time figuring things out, including myself.  At times, I am convinced that I have too many interests.  There's not time for all of them; choices control what happens with the interests, including how much time is assigned to each....

My remakings continue to be remarkable.  Sometimes they are overwhelming, but overall, I am grateful for them; they keep life intersesting, and keep me wanting more of so much.

Sandwich time....

What a month it has been.... Life is getting in the way of the plans I made for myself.

I am grateful, however, that I am able to take time necessary for my Mom and Son. Today, for example, was a doctor's appointment with Mom and boys' night at the elementary school with my Son. Both events were successful!

Now, I have to figure out what else needs to be done before the day is complete.

Mind murmur - determination

I am determined to get more fit and to nurture my proactivity. To that end, despite the challenge of the past 24 hours, I am sitting down on a Friday night with a cup of tea, having made a quick trip to the gym after dinner.

While I had thought that a drink out with a friend to vent would work, this approach really is much better right now.

live and learn....

Last week I lived differently than I have been living, and I learned that I do better with less. 

I didn't do any yoga, and I can't believe that I actually missed it.  Let's see what this week brings....

I didn't reach my 10,000 steps goal at all.  While I was reasonably active, my activity was second to what had to get done for my Son, who was on vacation, and work, which was busy because I took a few days off.  My time was not my own at all....

I was busy, perhaps too busy.  Or, perhaps it wasn't that I was busy, but what I was busy with.  Again, I was more reactive than proactive, which does not suit me well. 

Being a Mom first worked for me.  However, as I am not accustomed to this as my primary role, certain juggling did not happen.  Well, I will learn from this living, which was so worth it.  Getting away was a necessary diversion.  While things that I often get done, didn't, it was fun to live by a different clock.  I am grateful for the quality time I had with my Son.  Now, though, it's back to business....

Learning from last week's living is ongoing....

mind murmur

Being proactive, rather than reactive, always makes for a better attitude....  Getting things done on my terms works well. 

Mind murmur

Feeling quite scattered, and unsure about a resolution.  It doesn't take long for an attitude to change....

10,000 steps week 6, yoga week 5

Interesting week.... Made steps goal x5, including an outdoor run and a day of cross country skiing.  On several days, I thought I didn't have time, but I made time and made goal.  Also, other things in my life were no worse for the neglect, and I was so much better for the attention!!!  One day, I wanted to make sure that everything was perfect for dinner with my stepdaughter.  I still took time for a run!  She ended up canceling, but I did not get too upset (as is my norm) because I had gotten what I needed.  I did not change everything for her, so when she didn't change everything for me, I was able to take it in stride.  That was a huge accomplishment!

On the yoga front, financially, I could not justify the added expense of continuing with yoga at the studio.  Instead, I will try on my own for a bit.  I did the P90X yoga video once, and it went well.  The P90X schedule calls for yoga only x1/week, so that;'s what I will try for now.  In addition to that video, I completed a few other ones from the P90X selection.  Wow....  this adventure might be fun....

I feel changes happening slowly, and for that I am grateful.  Based on that success, the fit focus factor will continue to hold front position.  I am worth it!  

My Son saw this picture (from our recent skiing adventure), and told me that I looked pretty fit -- well, that is a welcomed first!

10,000 steps week 5 / yoga week 4

I reached my 10,000 steps goal only once.  On the day that I was in the office all day, and in the car for 5 hours, I didn't even get to 5,000 steps.  Otherwise, I was somewhere between 5,000 and 10,000.  This remains interesting, and challenging.  Therefore, it will continue. 

Week 4 of yoga was awesome.  I did my 2 sessions, and loved them both!  Unfortunately, my introductory offer is now done.  I really can't justify the financial commitment to continue formally.  However, I am planning to try some yoga at home.  I have the P90X yoga DVD as a start.  I will try to figure something out for this week. 

Flexibility is critical.  I have to be flexible in fitting things in so that I can increase my body's flexibility.  What will this week bring?

mind murmur - putting in the time

You can read, talk, and plan about getting fit.  However, the only way to get it done is to put in the time.  In order to put in the time, you have to find and make the time.  If it's a priority, then it can, but not necessarily will, get done.  Accept this and you're on your way....    

Mind murmur

Doing paper work isn't so bad with this view. In fact, writing and creativity itch needs scratching....

10,000 steps week 4 / Yoga week 3

This adventure continues to intrigue....  While my steps always exceeded 6,000, only twice did they top the goal; on the day I ran, I reached 13,901, and on the day I did some house organizing, I reached 11,272.  Overall, I exercised 5 times:  yoga twice; gym twice; and an outdoor run once.  

I scheduled my yoga time, and was much better for it!  My approach is working:  a goal of two sessions is realistic.  I watched part of the P90X yoga DVD.  While it was interesting, I don't think that I am ready to do this on my own.  The benefits I am deriving from the studio are fabulous!  I started reading about yoga, and checking out some apps.  A bit at a time, and this may continue....  The more I learn, the more I think that yoga must be added to my arsenal.  It's exciting to discover something new....      

Mind murmur

When I decided upon by mantra, bring it, I certainly had no idea that it was referenced in P90X materials.  This weekend, I started investigating this exercise approach, including watching DVDs we already own.  Is it fate that I should travel this path?       

Goodreads test

http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/15705789-california-sunset" style="float: left; padding-right: 20px">http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1342042723m/15705789.jpg
" />California">http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/15705789-california-sunset">California Sunset by Casey">http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/6423066.Casey_Dawes">Casey Dawes

My rating: 4">http://www.goodreads.com/review/show/519841535">4 of 5 stars




View">http://www.goodreads.com/review/list/16903267-helen-walsh">View all my reviews


I am not sure how this works, but the only way to find out is to try....

New times...techie....

For my birthday, my 9 year old sent me the following email,

"i am wishing you an awesome, lovely birthday i am so sad that you didn't really get anything.i will make your birthday the best one ever - how well i'll be a good well behaved boy and al that other stuff.  Sincerely, Connor your awesome well behaved son!!!!!"

He also bought me a song on iTunes, One Republic's Feel Again.  Forget the fact that he had a gift card, bought a song for himself too, and likes One Republic as much as I. 

These times are different....

This will be a totally tech birthday....  I awoke to birthday wishes through Facebook, and by text message.  I also received my first gift through the new Facebook gifting feature!  How fun....

I have to work on the computer....

Let's see what other tech times I can have today....

10,000 steps week 3 / Yoga week 2

While I exercised 5 times this past week, I only made my 10,000 steps goal once.  This experiment is quite interesting, and will continue.  I never was below 5,000 steps, but getting to goal is more challenging than anticipated.  Fitness comes in many forms, and I am enjoying my experiments....

I am 2 weeks into my yoga experiment.  I have set a goal of twice per week.  It appears to be an attainable goal, which is hard to come by these days.  I am intrigued, and more, by this yoga experiment.  For now, my primary thought is - bring it....

Yesterdays was part of an overall successful experience.  I woke up early on a Sunday morning, ready to go.  I made me the first priority of the day, setting off just after 8am.  After the awesome 1 hour class (I could tell I was doing more than during earlier classes), I meandered over to Starbucks, and then to Whole Foods for Sunday dinner ingredients.

Once home, I was ready for what promised to be a busy sandwich Sunday.... 

10,000 steps - week 2

I tracked my steps for another week, thanks to my iPod Nano.  Getting to goal is harder than you think.   I exercised 4 times last week, yet I only got past my 10,000 steps twice.  I never fell below 5,000 steps, and I'm glad for that I am glad.  Also, I will cut myself slack for the days I did yoga.  I will continue to track; this adventure/experiment is quite interesting.... 

Bittersweet changes

Over 16 years ago, I added this picture to my desk at work.  Though my desk changed within the building, the picture remained.  It was a reminder to me of starting over, and my original remaking, when I "ran away from home" after my divorce.  When I started my job, my Daddy was dying; this picture of him and me was taken in 12/95, I starter my job in 12/96, and he died in 1/97. 

Today, I removed this picture from my desk.  The office is moving to a different building, and I no longer need this picture as an immediate reminder.  My Daddy remains in my heart....  Thankfully, my remakings now are more refinements.

Throughout the day, I recalled all that transpired while at that building.  I began and ended many runs from the parking lot.  I remember meeting up with MJB, who played a major role in my CT life.  I received my last call from JEF there, and the first call from my husband.  Lest I forget sitting at my desk on the afternoon that my sister called to tell me that my Daddy died.  I smoked more than a few cigarettes "out back," where I was when the first plane hit on 9/11.  The memories were overwhelming and too many to here record....

Physically, the area today looked like it did on the day that I first took pictures to show my Daddy where I would start over.  He told me that he was confident that I would be okay after he died....  I have been, and continue to be, okay.  In fact, in many ways I am better.  I am stronger for sure, and I have taken within me the confidence that my Daddy expressed to me.  I am much more true to myself.... 

When I left the building for the last time this afternoon, I took comfort in knowing both how far I have come, and that I am generally in a great place at this point in my life.

Next week, I will arrive at a new building as a newer me....  Times change, surroundings change, but certain things remain the same....    

       

Physical adjustments

Feeling and making physical adjustments can be challenging and rewarding.  Today, I feel the effects of  yesterday's yoga class.  I welcome them with mixed emotions; I don't like the pain, but I do like that my body is adjusting positively. 

For better or worse, I do not have a regular schedule/routine.  Much of this foundation month, therefore, is devoted to making, taking, scheduling, and evaluating time.  Figuring out what plan works and how to work the plan is half the battle, at least.  I am getting better at living in the moment, and, therefore, actually doing whatever the plan calls for is the easy part.  Getting there is the hard part, which I will welcome because I so do love the effects of the adjustments.  

Fitness forward

Today I experienced my first yoga class ever.  It was interesting, almost fun.... 

I followed my gut as to where and when I took this class.  My gut was right.  The location, the instructor, and the other people in the class contributed to my success.    I certainly understand the benefits, and know that I will go to more classes.  The first step is often the hardest, and I took that.  I will give myself credit, and move on.

Today also marked 1 week of my 10,000 steps experiment.  My iPod Nano is a fabulous partner in this adventure.  I clip it on, and off I go.  I am not sure what happened on Saturday; my steps could not have calculated properly.  Oh well, live and learn....

Of 8 days, I exceeded 10,000 steps on only 3 days.  Only 2 days were under 5,000 steps.  Tracking my steps is an interesting experiment to see how active I actually am.

January is my month to lay a foundation for the year to come.  The foundation is forming, and for that I am grateful.  My mantra is yet to materialize....I am wondering as I wander, yet again -- or still.  

Sandwich Sunday

Morning with my Son and afternoon with my Mom.... She is enjoying her ice cream soda while I sit for a few minutes. When you're 92 1/2, I think this is a fine lunch.

Thankfully, I took time to walk the dog along the water and at the gym this morning. That time helps me get through my sandwich time with ease. I also bought a yoga mat for my new adventure! I am ready for tomorrow's power hour.

My goal of overall better fitness is attainable!

Ready for the Remake

New year, same me.  Remade, though.  It's going to be a great year! So far, I have been setting myself up for success....

Though I have exercised a bit, today was my first run outdoors of the new year.  It was awesome, from the first step to the last.  I ran for the fun and love of it. 

I was accompanied on today's run with the Nike+ Running app on my iPhone.  Fabulous!!!  I am going to have fun with this....

My iPods and iPhone have been part of me for a bit of time now, but a week ago I got my first iMac, the new 27" model.  This is going to add to the great things that will be me this year.  I am making time each day to play with my iMac.  What terrific time....      

The posts aren't predominant.  My time on Pinterest and Instagram also is less, as is my time on Facebook.  Twitter has taken some time.  Mostly, though, I am in and among myself. planting seeds and laying the foundation. 

This year's mantra has not yet materialized, but today I was thinking -- use what you have.  I also am thinking that working the five focus factors might be just fine.  They still sit strong with me -- fitness, finance, family, fun, and food.  Everything I do, and that matters to me, is connected in some way to one or more of these factors.  

We all have the same amount of time; the key is how we use it.  We have to take time and make time.  With so many interests, it's not always easy for me to apply my time before it runs out on another day....  Thankfully, another one is just hours away....  Each day we can begin again or pick up where we left off.  Each day can be the same or different.  Each day is a new day, or another day. What goes into each day is ours to pursue, and what comes from each day is ours to capture.  Realizing that is awesome, overwhelming and exciting!  Bring it....