I am torn between and among so much, and I am being torn apart by emotions.
All is well, but all is difficult and trying.
Today was another sandwich Sunday, which, as often is the case, was packed with tending to my eight year-old Son and ninety-two year-old Mom.
I am grateful for my weekly visits with my Mom, but each time my heart breaks a bit. She's the same, but she's different. She's well, but she's sick. She remembers, then she doesn't. Sometimes, it's hard to see her, and it's always hard to leave her.
Each week brings something different that needs to be addressed. It's increasingly impossible to imagine what my visit will be like.
Today, we went out for the littlest but of time to do an errand. My Mom said, "It's nice to get out." I wanted to cry, but of course I didn't. It's not done.
Upon arriving home, my Son started right in. He wanted to fit a full day's activities into the few hours left before his bedtime. We had a challenging week, so I wanted to simply settle down and get ready for what promises to be another busy week, as each typically is. Really I just wanted to be alone, but that was not going to happen. Thankfully, my Son settled down so that we could enjoy some reading and piano time together.
Presently, I am reminded that my Son is like me. I have a day's worth of things that I want to fit into the few remaining hours. I am not sure yet what will get done, but I am glad simply to be seated with my feet up for the first time since this day began fifteen hours ago.
Well, another sandwich Sunday is done. For these days, done is success.
In keeping with my attempt to end each day on a positive note, I will relish successful completion of another Smart Coach training week. I am four weeks into my twelve week training program. My decision to run what will be my fifth half marathon is revealing itself to be one of my better recent decisions.
Until....
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